Now THAT'S a winning ticket! Why keep beating around the George W. Bush? Stand up, be a man, and instead of dribs and drabs, go for it! Just think of how much gravitas Putin will bring to the ticket! I mean here's a guy who knows foreign relations and he has torture down to a science, so I think Obama/Putin '08 IS the Dream Ticket.

Let's face it friends, the only thing the Messiah is lacking is gravitas - well that and a genuine platform, but let's not quibble with facts. Democrats don't bother with facts, so why should I, right?

Putin is the man. He and Obama are a match made in Heaven, Ooops, I forgot. Putin is a Godless Commie and Obama is a radical Leftist, so no religion in the public square - my apologies. Putin's tough; Obama's not. He's short; Obama's not. He's white; Obama's not - well sort of not. He's decisive; Obama's not. He's actually done something; Obama hasn't.

And let's also consider that a running mate is made for numerous reasons, and one of the more important factors in picking a VP is for political reasons - can a running mate deliver votes to help the ticket? And this is where Vladimir Putin really shines! Not only can he deliver Russia, both the European part as well as the vast Asian Steppe, but apparently Putin has been working overtime to get the VP nod. He's already sent troops into Georgia to make sure Atlanta, Savannah and Macon are all on board. Now that's a teammate, huh?

So Lefties, come out in force for your winning team, the Obama/Putin '08 Vote for Change ticket! Maybe Putin's joining the ticket will give the Messiah the balls to actually admit that Marx, Lenin, Trotsky, Stalin and especially Vladimir Putin are his idols, and this present day Messiah is modeling his Messiahdom after his Marxist hero predecessors, who at least had the Goddamn guts to admit they were Marxists.

Perhaps Putin's joining the ticket will serve two most useful and needed purposes - it will allow our inexperienced Messiah the needed gravitas to carry the day and actually fool voters into believing he's not just an empty suit, but as well it might make Obama grow a pair and stand up and actually take a position he doesn't try to nuance and prevaricate so he can "stay on message." I'm gonna be laughin' all the way to the voting booth.

When Senator Barack Obama was in Israel last week he followed tradition and left a note to God in the crevices of the Wailing, or Western Wall. That his note was taken from its repository and made public is an interesting turn of events. And even more interesting in that the note and its public exposure was indeed planned by the Obama Campaign. That's right - planned!

It was all revealed when a spokesman for Maariv, Israel's second most popular newspaper, went public by saying "publication of the note was pre-approved for international publication by the Obama campaign, leading to the conclusion that the 'private' prayer was intentionally leaked for public consumption." As reported on Israeli Insider.com "A Ma'ariv spokesman was quoted in the Jerusalem Post as saying that 'Barack Obama's note was approved for publication in the international media even before he put [it] in . . . '" So there you have it.

But unknown to anyone but me, your faithful reporter, I have the REAL text of the Messiah's speech. Turns out the note that was "leaked" to the international media was a fake. The real prayer was also printed in Obama's handwriting, but it was stuffed too deep to be easily retrieved. Instead the planted note, the one that was leaked to the media, was stuffed in afterward by a slight of hand. Only I have the text of the actual note that was stuck in the wall, and I will reveal it to you now.

It too is written on the stationary of the King David Hotel. Following is the verbatim text of the original note to God:

Dear Dad,

It's Barack here - ya know, the Messiah! Anyway, I'm on this dumb trip to the war zones and now I've had to go see where my brother, your other son, Jesus, was crucified. Man, this place is hot in the summer. And I'm starting to look bad in the public eye, what with my constantly saying we lost in Iraq when we really won. It's going real good for Bush there now, and I'm having a hard sell on this "I'll withdraw from Iraq on day one" stuff. Anyhow, since this is the traditional place to leave one's prayer, I thought I'd ask some questions while I got your attention.

Why am I here? Haven't you told these mortals I am the Messiah? I ask because these fools are making me jump through hoops like I was any ol' Presidential candidate. All this "who struck John" is gettin' old Dad. I am tired of having to justify myself to these fools. I thought you had paved the way for me? If so, you're slippin' Dad. Do you know I am getting flak because that idiot McCain keeps trying to make me have these 10 townhall meetings. Now I'm good, damn near perfect, but you know my problems when I have to go off prompter, so I thought you'd hooked me up on this? As the Messiah I will look pretty bad if I have to go off prompter and answer these dumb questions from the idiot voters. And that's another thing - don't "your children" know who I am? If so they sure have a strange way of showing it!

And what about this FOX News bunch? I thought that had been taken care of as well? They're asking some tough questions and I'm doing my best to ignore them, but I can't keep this up forever. Eventually I'm going to have to go on O'Reilly and if so I don't think I'm gonna come off lookin' very good. Now I have no complaints about Chris Matthews and the MSNBC bunch - they've been a big help, but they can't carry all the weight. And the New York Times and the AP are trying to run cover for me, but they're fading fast, so how's about a hook up Dad? Arent' you ready to zap O'Reilly and send him to visit Lucifer for all eternity? I'm ready for ya to zap him and Hannity too!

Now look Dad, time to get serious about this leader of the free world stuff. If I am going to win this job I'm gonna need one of two things - either you zap the Conservatives and I get the job by default, or you are gonna have to step it up a bit here. These Conservatives are really asking some tough questions and they're getting to be a real pain in the Messianic hindparts. And speaking of rear ends, could you tell the broadcast network anchors to get their heads outta mine?

And what about the Europe leg of the trip? That hussy in Germany won't let me speak at the Brandenburg Gate - what's up with that? And she's a Conservative ya know Dad. And so is that Frenchie Frenchman Sarkozy, and that Gordon Brown dude in England is Conservative too! It's almost like this whole deal is slippin' away from me Pop. Why can't I just be President of Europe? They love me there!

Oh, I do want to pass along some good news (don't wanna seem like I'm just a whining little brat! I know, that's your pet name for me, but that's our secret). Kudos on scheduling those two popular bands to draw and warm up the crowd for me in Berlin. Hopefully it'll look like they dig the Messiah! But keep the rock band thing on the down low or FOX will broadcast it to the whole world. I can hear 'em now - "Turns out Obama's 'big crowd' in Berlin came to see the bands and stayed to listen to Obama for the free brats and beer." Dad, that'll really make me look like a pandering idiot, and I've have enough of that already!

Anyway, I gotta go put that other note in the wall now. When I get back to the US can you make FOX go away? And get them right wing bloggers too. They're getting a little too close for comfort. It's gotten so bad I can't have sleepovers with Bill Ayers and Rev. Wright anymore. And Tony Rezko has been calling wanting to 'hang out' and I miss Tony. We're tight, ya know?

Oh, and one more thing before I go - the next time I make a major announcement, like when I announced I was running for the US Senate, could you counsel me a tad bit better? When I told ya I was going to Billy Ayers to announce my candidacy, you said fine! Do you know how hard it is to fool these people that Billy and I aren't friends? And would you relieve a little pressure on me and give Michelle lockjaw for the next 8 years? Her mouth, both in media, and in my ear, is driving me crazy Dad. I swear, if that gorilla lookin' thing don't shut up she's gonna screw me right out of the Presidency. And then she'll harp in my ear for the next eight years . . . "Barack, if you hadn't (fill in the blank) I'd be First Lady." I don't think I can take that for 8 years Dad, so do the lockjaw thing for me on big mouth.

Later Dad, and Fist Bumps to ya -

Your Boy Barack "The Messiah" Obama

AUTHORS NOTE: While the "second prayer" is parody, the first two paragraphs about the Obama prayer being released for publication with the prior knowledge of said event is 100% true, and NOT parody. Check my included link for the original report. This is 100% fact.

http://web.israelinsider.com/Articles/Politics/13021.htm

How fitting is it that Denver, the city at the eastern foot of the majestic Rocky Mountains, is the host city for the Democrat National Convention this year? Come August Colorado's capital will be blessed with a visit from the Messiah Himself. The Messiah will sweep into Denver, His disciples dutifully in tow as they follow in the wake of His flowing robes. Lucky they will be to cast their eyes upon Him, their Savior!

As the plans for the Messiah's visit are jelling some adjustments have been made to accommodate all of His followers. No longer will the Pepsi arena, the venue hosting the convention, be sufficient to hold the throngs of admirers. There has been talk of moving the Messiah's acceptance speech to Invesco Field, the 70.000 seat stadium where the Denver Broncos play in order to seat the masses so they may cast their gaze upon Him as they listen, rapt and enthralled as His words wash over them.

But wait . . . what if the Messiah draws more disciples than even we can imagine? More than even Invesco Field can sit? In order to accommodate the glut of fools, er . . . I mean disciples, I suggest the acceptance speech be moved to a more suitable venue, and while we're at it, let's call it what it really is.

It's time for we, the unwashed to accept that indeed our Savior has arrived. Let's just quit beating around the bush. I say the Messiah move his speech from Invesco Field to the nearest high peak of the Rockies overlooking the plains of Denver. Then and only then will the venue be correct, and let us name this what it really is. From on high, above the western plain of the Denver suburbs the Messiah can deliver His Sermon on the Mount.

Finally a venue suitable for the Savior! And finally a name suitable for the message He will deliver. I have an advance copy of the Messiah's words, and for those unable to attend I will give you a sneak peek into the Sermon on the Mount the Messiah will bless us with.

After an approximately 30 to 45 minute ovation for the Messiah, He will speak to we mere mortals. He will begin with His beatitudes. He will address the downtrodden with his admonition "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." After the fainting subsides the Messiah will continue, and in speaking of Himself He will offer "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God, or sons of Me, whichever you prefer." Again, speaking of Himself He will offer "Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven, where I live." And the Messiah will tell you "You are the salt of the Earth. . . You are the Light of the World."

He will advise the unwashed to follow Him and Him alone, for he is the Messiah, here to save us all from ourselves. He will caution you not to make false vows, but to fulfill your vows to Him. He will tell you to go the extra mile, to love your neighbor and "therefore you are to be perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect," as well as I, your Messiah am perfect.

He will warn against your "practicing righteousness before men to be noticed by them. . .do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets." Only the Messiah is so entitled to trumpet His own horn, for you are the unwashed and only He is the righteous.

The Messiah will assist you in fulfilling his next admonition "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on Earth," by making sure to take from you so you do not become greedy and self righteous. The Messiah will caution that you cannot serve the Messiah and wealth, "as you will love one master and hate the other."

The Messiah will comfort you by telling you ". . . do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?" He will tell you "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself."

Cautioning the unwashed he will admonish "Do not judge so that you will not be judged." He will tell you not to notice the shortcomings of others, as you have your own, that only He is free of these Earthly and mortal sins.

In keeping with the storied traditions of the Democrat faithful the Messiah will advise "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened."

Building to a crescendo the Messiah will warn "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits."

And lastly, as the throngs sway in his aura the Messiah will close with the assurance "Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them , may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock . . . Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like the foolish man who built his house on the sand . . . ."

When the applause dies, what will we have?

What I see and hear is little different from the Democrat talking points for the last 60 years or so . . . first the assurance to the masses that He is the true choice, that you, the unwashed, if only you will stand with Him He will see to your needs . . . remain faithful and at His side you may reside. He wants to make sure you follow through with your pledges of donations and working for Him, the Messiah, and in so doing make sure you go the extra mile for Him. He doesn't want you to lament your non-perfection, for He is perfect for you, in your name.

The Messiah tells you that money is a corrupter and you cannot serve the almighty dollar and Him at the same time. To assist in throwing off the yoke of Western Culture he will provide for your hunger and your thirst, and do not judge His methods and motives, for if so, you will be judged, harshly one would assume. And He tells you, His children, to look to Him and ask, and He will provide. And in closing he warns against questioning Him and any other prophet, for He is the Messiah, and if one just follows his teachings, admonishments and desires you will rest at His side, for if you follow Him you will have "built [your] house on the rock."

So, Denver at the foot of the Mount; the Messiah at the foot of the Mount, the masses straining to glimpse their prophet who will deliver them from the evil Republicans, and all the Messiah need do is climb (or glide as the prophets seem to do as they move breathlessly over the Earth) to the top of the Mount and deliver His Sermon.

Yeah, I guess this IS the Second Coming. How nice for we unwashed!

The Messiah is coming for ya.  A seemingly normal, non-worthy of note individual.  That was until He spoke to the unwashed masses, and lo and behold, He is the Messiah!

His lofty rhetoric washes over the uncleansed; the blind can now see; the deaf can now hear! The Messiah is leading us to the promised land.  It is all milk and honey.  Everyone is the same height and weight; we all have the same IQ; "from each according to his ability; to each according to his need."

A glorious day is upon us and we must flock to the robes of the Great One.  Will we stand in mute awe of His words?  Will we be moved to tears as have so many?  Will we join His legions?  Will He prevail upon we novice followers, the sheep to His shepherd? 

"Yes oh yes" I scream!  My voice wavers as I behold His countenance.  I tremble as His words wash over me. 

So, from my description, can the idle reader grasp about whom I am waxing rhetorically? 

That's right!  Vladamir  Lenin  has emerged from the masses to lead  we sheep to the land of milk & honey! 

Wait . . . hold on a minute here . . . "What's that you say?  Lenin is dead?  This treatise is not about the great Lenin, the Marxist of all Marxists?" 

"Then who was this little ditty about, anyway?"

"Barack Obama?  What the Hell is a Barack Obama?"

Oh, now I get it!  Nothing more need be said.  I just figured when I heard all the fainting and starry eyed looks from his admirers I thought we was talking about Lenin or Hitler, and when I listened to the rhetoric I immediately excluded Hitler 'cause he was a fascist, not a Marxist, and all this talk sure sounded Marxist to me, so I lept to the conclusion we were talking about the Great One, Vladamir Lenin!

So we were talking about something called "Barack Obama?"  This again begs the question, "What the Hell is a Barack Obama?"

Ahh . . . Barack Obama is a Marxist?  And he has legions of sheep jumping to follow his populist rhetoric?  And like his idols, Marx & Lenin, he talks about the proletariat and all the injustice, blah, blah, blah . . .

Huh?  Who'd a thunk it?  That in the United States of America such a stupid and disproven ideology as this extreme populist/Marxist crap this "Barack Obama" spouts would actually gain a following?

Looks like PT Barnum was right.   Apparently there is a sucker born every minute.  Don't believe me?  Just look at the adoring crowds as they blindly follow their Prophet.  A damned Marxist running for President!  What the Hell has happened in America?  Did I miss something?

So, any chance Mother Goose was a Fifth Columnist? To hear today's ardent American Leftist it would seem so. In this season of election hyperbole we hear all manner of fairytale, cleverly masked as some universal truth. Let's examine a couple of examples.

The most recent Liberal talking point in the midst of all this electioneering is the infamous "We can't drill our way out of this." Here is the truth. When the US proven reserves of off shore, ANWR and shale oil are compiled we discover the US has 3 to 4 times the proven oil reserves of the Saudis; to acquire oil one must drill. So, even though we have 3 or 4 times the oil of the Saudi's, and drilling is the only way to get the oil, now we hear from the erudite ones that "we can't drill our way out of this?"

Is it just me, or does this talking point seem counter intuitive? And then when we examine the Leftist solution besides drilling, the "Let's try and tax our way out of this," we find, once again, the Left is completely 180 degrees on the wrong side of common sense and plain old American get it done mentality. No news there though.

Should I bother to point out that in late week and weekend polling around 70% of Americans polled say "Drill the freakin' oil already?" So any proof needed to support my previous assessment of leftist backasswardness is as plain as the nose on your face. What more is needed to demonstrate that once again the Left is on the opposite side of most issues with mainstream Americans?

Issue number 2 in the countdown is Gay Marriage. California has used the usual Leftist tactic of "legislating from the bench." You know the one - the one where since you can't get what you want through the usual legislative practices, in this case California voters rejected gay marriage, you use Liberal judges to "rule" on the constitutionality of an issue in order to get what you want, and since the voters refuse, you use legislation from the bench to realize your desires. Again, California voters clearly rejected gay marriage, but as usual, the Left will get what they want by hook or crook and care not for the fairness or legality of their actions.

Remember Liberals believe themselves to be so much smarter than fly over Americans. So to circumvent the proper legal process of legislative action the Lefties use the courts to impose their vision of social mores upon us Red State idiots. Any wonder why it is always so important to the Lefties to get control of the nominating and confirmation processes of judges to the appellate and Federal benches?

The extreme and ardent Left, the "pushers" of all this radical crap, know full well that their vision of society, economy and governance are not those of run of the mill Americans. They have tried a million times to get their warped visions passed in the legislative process, and they usually fail, so they have taken a page from FDR's book and are trying to pack the bench with like-minded souls. They know only through this legislating from the bench do they have any possibility at all of getting what they want to come to fruition.

The third issue that runs counter intuitive to mainstream American common sense and love of tradition is the Messiah's pronouncement that he will bomb our allies (Pakistan) and hold a nice chit chat, with no preconditions (Obama's own words before he flip flopped and decided there would be some preconditions) with our enemies, Kim Jong-Il, Chavez, Castro, Assad of Syria and of course, everyone's favorite despot, the beady-eyed Ratboy of Iran.

At this point I am tempted to inquire, rhetorically of course, has anyone ever heard of "Unconditional Surrender?" It has in the past been a clever acronym for Gen. Grant's first two initials, US, as in Ulysses Simpson Grant, and it was also the policy of the Untied States toward our enemies in World War Two. So how did "Unconditional Surrender" work out for the North in that "late unpleasantness?" Pretty good, huh? And in World War Two the Nazis and Imperial Japan were destroyed by unconditional surrender, right? And that too worked out well for the world, right?

And now we come half-way around, 180 degrees opposite of American common sense and wisdom. We have the Democrat presidential nominee, The Messiah Himself employing the "Unconditional Surrender" mentality to our dealing with terrorists, third world despots and petty dictators, the hegemonic desires of Ratboy and Chavez, and the oil crisis.

But the Messiah's employment of Unconditional Surrender IS NOT used as the US has traditionally used it - as OUR attitude toward our enemies, but instead the Messiah's version of Unconditional Surrender is one where WE, the United States, unconditionally surrenders to the will of OPEC and Ratboy!

The Messiah has told us he will talk to our enemies, bomb our allies and surrender to the will of those with the oil. Are these things not 180 degrees opposite of how more traditional and mainstream Americans actually feel about these issues? Excepting for the ardent Leftist I occasionally encounter (yuk! wretch! gag!), I cannot for the life of me find a single mainstream American who thinks we should bomb our allies, chat with Ratboy, et al, and not a single person I engage, again excepting for the occasional anarchist/radical Leftist (it's all the same), thinks we should NOT drill for our own oil.

So, in closing, let us review: The Messiah says he will NEVER drill, ever! The Messiah says let's have a nice chat with our enemies and bomb our allies, and lastly let's make sure we completely circumvent the stated will of the American electorate and use judicial activism to impose our visions of morality upon our nation. The Messiah and his minions are advocating an absolute bastardization of all we know as traditional Americans.

Since when do Americans let others lead the way? Since when do we allow the despots of OPEC to dictate the prosperity of our nation? Since when do Americans give in without trying every available method of solution to a problem? Would Ronald Reagan have said "Yeah, OPEC has us by the short hairs. No use utilizing OUR OWN ENERGY RESERVES!" Would Reagan have suggested we try and tax our way out of an oil shortage when we have three times the oil reserves of the Saudis (and potential oil shale included in that number) yet , as the Messiah has stated "I will NEVER drill for oil!"

The Messiah and his minions are counter to all we traditional Americans favor and desire. I have one thing to address to the Messiah and his minions. Read carefully: I AM NOT A SURRENDER MONKEY! MY NATION IS NOT A SURRENDER MONKEY! WE WILL NOT UNCONDITIONALLY SURRENDER TO ANYONE OR ANYTHING! AND THAT INCLUDES YOUR BIZARRE AND WARPED VISION OF AMERICA!

We will drill our own oil! We will fight the terrorists wherever the Hell we find them! We will never cave to your Socialist principles and "Unconditional Surrender" mentality! Got it?

Here are some realities:

Obama only has the position and power he at present enjoys because of his damned near Bolshevik minions behind the scenes.

These minions are the fringe dwellers of the mainstream Democrat party.  They are the William Ayers, Weathermen and SDS types who have lain in wait for an opportunity to jump to the fore when they saw their chance.

Obama's power and supposed appeal are directly the result of Hillary's failure to take him seriously before the Iowa Caucus. 

A primary election is a pretty easy thing in which to participate.  You go to the poll and cast your ballot - that's it.

A caucus is far more effort and requires far more dedication to principle than does a primary vote. And where is it Obama has won a huge portion of his delegates?  That's right - the caucus states.  Obama's activists are the ones who have propelled him to the top of the pile and made it appear as if Obama is the Messiah.  The actual reality is that his die hard supporters are small in number, but due to their activism they have driven Obama to win these numerous caucuses, thus making it appear the Messiah cometh.

Take Texas for example.  Texas is the weirdest of all states in that they hold a primary during the day and then go to caucuses that night to apportion more delegates.  Hillary won the primary vote, but the Messiah won the caucus, thus he walked away with more delegates.  It takes dedication to caucus, and Obama's minions are nothing if not dedicated.

If Hillary had bothered to organize her base in anywhere near the effort that the Messiah did his, Obama would be a memory by now.  Hillary's problem was in her presumptive status - it lent to a feeling of inevitability, thus she didn't do the ground work needed to stave off the challenge Obama's Bolshevik minions have mounted.

As to the general election, you Bolsheviks are in for a whipping akin to the '72 McGovern debacle.  In case your memories are no longer than your manhoods, McGovern was leading Nixon before the general election, and he took a 49 state beating.  You clowns are in for more of the same. 

The Bolshevik activists propping Obama up are just that - activists.  Their efforts are magnified by their incessant protestations and actions, but when push comes to shove, most voters are not radicals.  As Obama is more revealed he will wilt, ala McGovern.

As the Messiah's minions grow more frustrated they will screw the pooch for their boy.  Pay close attention to their actions and words.  They will become more and more unhinged as Obama's weaknesses are manifest.

We, the sane America lovers who like traditional America must remain vigilant.  We must tweak the nerves of the Bolshevik radicals at every turn.  Keep pissin' em off and they will unhinge themselves.  Remember, Obama is a paper tiger and without these Bolsheviks propping him up he would be an unknown junior senator from one of the most politically corrupt Democrat strongholds in the lower 48.

Keep hitting them.  Beat them mercilessly.  They have big mouths but no nads.  They cannot withstand the beating they deserve and will get if we stay in the game, stay on our toes and stay mad as Hell.  Let's show these gutless wonders the door, once and for all!